Family, Laughter, Love
Our
Story
A pirate ship's log about domestic mayhem.
The Westley Chronicles began the same way most of my stories do: somewhere between a spilled milk bottle, a Rottweiler wearing a helmet, and me wondering why the children are suddenly quiet.
It’s a collection of real moments from our chaotic crew: Nathaniel, Westley, an oversized dog with zero spatial awareness, the Nan who holds the universe together, and me, doing my best to stay upright while life throws chippies and curveballs at the same time.
These are the kind of stories you tell your friends with a laugh and a sigh. The moments that make you go:
“Is this normal?”
and
“At least it’s not just me!”
Because it isn’t just you.
Family life is wild, unpredictable, hilarious, exhausting, heart-thumping, and best held together with snacks and sarcasm.
Meet The Crew
Westley
CEO of Mayhem
Small, loud, and feral, but in a charming, vaguely alarming way. Can climb anything not bolted down, negotiate bedtime like a union rep, and has a PhD in cute smiles to get out of trouble. The laws of physics are, at best, a suggestion.
Mum
Narrator & Damage Control Officer
Running on caffeine, gratitude journals, and sheer willpower. Chronic overthinker, master multitasker, and the voice you hear yelling, “Where are your shoes?!” Believes laughter and a good vacuum can fix most things.
Nathaniel
Operations & Ethics Department
Older brother and Chief Translator of Toddler Mayhem. Philosophical, witty, and frequently found giving TED Talks to Westley on “Why We Don’t Put Hotwheels in the Oven.” Believes strongly in justice, snacks, and Minecraft diplomacy.
Jackson
The Security Department (and Research Division)
Jackson is the muscle, the vacuum cleaner, and the self-appointed guardian of the realm.
His contribution to the crew is primarily enthusiastic moral support, and occasionally serving as Westley’s crash test dummy for “important ideas.”
Nan
Keeper of Order & Biscuits
Matriarch, oracle, and the calm in the storm. Can find anything, knows everything, and dispenses wisdom in the form of coffee and side-eye. Occasionally mutters, “He gets it from you,” which is not helpful but usually correct.
Pop
Chief of The Nap Department
Can fix anything with a tool, a shrug, and a wise word, then immediately fall asleep in the nearest chair like he’s been hit with a tranquilliser dart.
Keeper of spare parts, obscure facts, and the only measuring tape anyone trusts.
Westley treats him like a human amusement ride, Nathaniel treats him like Wikipedia, and Pop handles both with patient amusement between naps.
Say Hi!
You’ve reached the chaos department. Proceed with caution (and bring snacks).
This is a small, family-run operation powered by coffee, crayons, and questionable decision-making. We do our best to reply quickly, but sometimes there are pirate emergencies or science experiments gone wrong. Please allow a few days for a response.
Thanks for visiting our little corner of chaos!
Westley and Nathaniel